A BAD JOKE
By Geoffrey Jones
So a man and his wife walk into the bar
And settle in a booth a few feet away
From where I’m perched on a stool… The
Man’s sporting a Pro Life/Anti-Vaxxer
Button on his lapel… Say what… How do
You reconcile that… I don’t know how
He gathers his nuts and stores them all
In one place… His wife is wearing a mask…
*****
Man: “Hon, I’m having trouble sleeping.”
Wife: “Why do you think that is?”
Man: “I drink too much.”
Wife: “Then why don’t you quit.”
Man: “I can’t.”
Wife: “I thought you wanted to sleep.”
Man: “I do. But not while I’m drinking.”
Wife: “Then why are we here?”
Man: “Beats the hell out of me.”
Wife: “You can’t have it both ways.”
Man: “I know. That scares me to death.”
Wife: “Is this a joke?”
*****
We’re all scared to death of ending…
And so we search for ways to extend
This excursion beyond its perceptible
Horizon… And surely there is the belief…
The hope… That something else follows
The grand transition… We find it difficult
To accept anything less… We travel in
Flocks…
It’s fear alright… As we impose our
Beliefs on others… And comfort is
Derived from this… As the supremacy
Of one proposition is asserted over
Another… Often cloaked in doubt…
And why… Because there is strength
In numbers… Security in crowds… The
More the merrier in order to stave off
The fear of the unknown… Uncertainty
Seeks the company of others…
But one size doesn’t fit all…
Nothing’s that simple… Life’s a mess… It’s
Disorderly… There is no reason or rhyme…
And there are those who thrive in the
Gutter… Who traffic in deception… The
Ones who think that lying is okay as
Long as you don’t get caught… The ones
Who dwell in that nether space… In that
Dark place… Where cheating becomes
A lifestyle… Where lying becomes a way of
Life as long as it satisfies a want or a need…
Lies… So trivial in nature, but profound
In effect…
Lies… So profound in effect that they alter
The trajectory of a life…
And…
You can’t make it more difficult to cast
A ballot than it is to carry a hand gun or
Drive a car…
And…
You can’t fund a wall while people are
Freezing to death in the dead of winter…
And…
You can’t reopen schools with mask-less
Children and teachers without betraying
Their health and safety…
And…
You can’t advise against a vaccine but
Escape substantial blame for the spread
Of a disease…
And…
And you can’t legislate what happens
Inside the womb… Most especially if
You don’t have one… While raging
Against lesser impositions on your own
Rights and personal freedoms…
*****
And remember this…
The square root of nothing is zero…
The man stumbles out of the booth
Much to his wife’s amusement and
Minor disapproval… She adjusts her
Mask and helps him to his feet…
*****
Man: “I can’t stand up.”
Wife: “No kidding. What did you expect?”
Man: “Clarity and a sense of purpose?”
Wife: “After three Martinis?”
Man: “Hey, I didn’t order a fourth.”
Wife: “So, this really is a joke to you?”
Man: “No. It’s a nightmare.”
She shakes her head in agreement while
Propping him against her shoulder… What
Else is there to say… The man stands up
Straight and proper and gains his balance…
He gathers his thoughts… They exit the bar…
Wife: “God help us all.”
